I have a case of the Mondays...

Though my Mondays aren't the 'Office Space' Mondays. For years now Mondays have been the days where my life is going to change.

Sunday night rolls around and I decide that Monday is the day things are going to be different. Sometimes it is simple things such as, 'This is the week I am going to start eating breakfast at home, and bring my lunch to work every day,' 'Starting tomorrow I am going to get up and workout before work,' 'Starting tomorrow I am going to spend more time reading and in the Bible than watching TV & surfing the intertubes,' or 'This is the week I am going to actually start taking my drugs every day.'

Sometimes it is big things like changing my diet, sticking to my budget, stop being a jackass, volunteering more, going to small group, learning Portuguese etc., but no matter the change it is always going to happen on a Monday.

If you know me and my history with any of these things you are aware that there are about 4 years worth of Sundays where I've said one, some or all these things. You also know there are about 4 years worth of Mondays that start with good intentions, which usually fizzle out by Thursday. Now I make a good 2 week or several month run on something, but very rarely does anything stick.

Here is to another Monday. Maybe if I start these things on Wednesdays I'd have better luck...

Random thought for the day ---

I've watched a lot of reality TV in my day and I've made an observation. Often times when there is conflict one party says to another 'Keep my name out of your mouth.' I've been trying to think of a situation where I might be able to say that to someone, but I don't think it will ever happen. It makes me kind of sad.

These are five of the many videos I watched on YouTube this week. They are selected at random for your viewing pleasure.

Keith being Keith...

About a month ago I called B and told him that I might actually have a limit of how far my jackassery can go. I called him again last night and after Tuesday we decided there are no limits.

The main cafeteria in my building at work has been being remodeled for several months. It re-opened on Monday and there is a contest to name it. I have not entered a name but I have been referring to it as the 'Peach Pit.'

The CEO of my company is a Yankees fan and while I don't know how to rate him as a CEO he seems like a pretty normal guy. I've had 3 interactions with him. They went something like this:

1. We cross paths in the hallway and I give him the upward 'what up' head flick.
2. We cross paths in the hallway and I give him the downward respectful head nod.
3. I was on the elevator with him and two ladies. One of the ladies was holding a HUGE to go box of pasta. The elevator doors close and the CEO turns to the lady with the pasta and says 'Got enough pasta there?' It was hilarious.

I was noodling with a name for a cafeteria and for some reason thought about Yankee Stadium closing, which led to a thought about 'The House that Ruth Built,' which led to me connecting the CEO is a Yankees fan and his name is Russ, which led to the best cafeteria name ever --- 'The House that Russ Built.'

After some encouragement I decided to email him my idea. He emailed me back and said that he liked it.

'I didn't hear no bell. Get you son b because Mickey loves ya' ---

I've been having a bit of trouble getting out of bed lately. I've been waiting until the last possible minute to get up. I can get up, showered, dressed, ready to go, throw a Bagel-ful in my bag and be out the door in 17 minutes.

During that very last possible moment before I get up the dialogue from 32-36 seconds in the 'Rocky V' clip below goes through my head. I proceed to stagger around like Rocky does from 44-49 seconds on my way to the facilities.

I'm Almost Tired of it ---

Almost...

Thank you Deadspin & Daily Show... Most of all, thank you Cubs.

JON STEWART: Cubs fans are considered a subset of stupid?
JOHN OLIVER: Oh absolutely John. They’ve had a hundred years to figure out that what they want will never happen, and yet they still yearn for it.
JS: And that is stupid.
JO: Yes, that’s very stupid.
JS: Because the Cubs will never win.
JO: No, that’s right John. The Chicago Cubs will never, ever win the World Series. They won’t do it.
JS: They’ve made God angry.
JO: That’s right. That’s what I’m saying.

This and That...

I Love Kraft ---


I found these delightful Kraft Bagel-fuls at my local Dominick's on Sunday. Holy cow they are soooo good. Eighteen seconds in the microwave and then there is a party in your mouth. I have been enjoying the Cinnamon kind. There are four others available: Original, Strawberry Whole Grain and Chive.

I Do Not Like Kraft ---

On the other end of the spectrum is the Kraft Snackables Twists (not photo worthy). It is a cheddar and mozzarella hunk of string cheese and it is horrible. I was thinking 'it is Kraft, this has to be good.' WRONG... If you have rubber bands around your house, office or classroom eat those because they taste the same as this 'snackable.'

Pop culture lines of the week or so ---

ELAINE: New jeans?
JERRY: Yeah.
ELAINE: Still a 31 waist?
JERRY: Yep. Since college. Hey, Lena Small's on this list.
ELAINE: Lena Small?
JERRY: Yeah, that girl I was gonna call for a date, she was unlisted...and now here's her number.
ELAINE: Oh, you're not gonna cop a girl's phone number off an AIDS charity list! -Seinfeld 'The Sponge'-

'Look at me for the changes & try to keep up'... -Marty McFly Back to the Future-

'I've lived a full life, I'm just not sure it's meant anything'...
Some movie I've watched or book I've read in the past few weeks. I am unable to remember exactly where it is from.

Oh Ack ---

“I have abandoned my child! I’VE ABANDONED MY CHILD! I’VE ABANDONED MY BOY!“
- Daniel Plainview, There Will Be Blood

“Some people never got over Vietnam or the night their band opened for Nirvana. I guess I never got over Charlie.”
- Rob Gordon, High Fidelity

Suckers...

The Cubs ---

I am a recovering Cubs fan. Three and a half seasons sober - thank you very much. I love seeing Cubs fans getting what they deserve. They are the most annoying of all the fan bases in sports.
You can put them all in one of three categories.

Wrigley Field fans -

These are the people who wear Wrigley Field t-shirts, sweatshirts & hats. The White Sox or Cardinals could start playing their home games there and these people wouldn't even notice it isn't the Cubs. These are also the fans who fill the park in the middle of September when the team is 20 games out of first place. They wouldn't be Cubs 'fans' if they didn't play in Wrigley Field. They believe in the curse and think things like having a priest bless the dugout before the playoffs is a good idea.

Percentage of the overall fan base - 40%

Head in the Sand fans -

These are the people who think Geovany Soto is the National League MVP and Mike Fontenot & Reed Johnson are All Stars. They also predicted, ignoring 99 years of fail, the Cubs would win the World Series in June. More than likely they blame Steve Bartman for what happened in '03.

Percentage of the overall fan base - 45%

Real fans -

They are knowledgable about baseball and have a realistic view of their team.

Percentage of the overall fan base - 15%

Uncle Keith...

I found out yesterday that my sister and Joe are going to adopt. I am very excited about it. The news was very surprising. When I talked to her over the summer she said that they had decided not to adopt and The Great Bambino was going to be an only child. I am not sure why they changed their minds, but as I said I am very excited about it.

A second bambino or maybe a Great Bambina - Sweetness...