News & Notes...

Overheard ---

'It's easier if you just lift your shirt at let them blow'...

'He came to school to poop'...

Thanksgiving Break ---

I had an enjoyable week in the Minneapolis area. Some of the highlights were 2 trips to Perkins for breakfast, a trip to Dave & Buster's and an excursion to the Mall of America. It was my second visit to the 'MOA,' it is still HUGE but not nearly as intimidating as the first time.

The most shocking thing happened at the mall. The McDonald's in the food court served Pepsi products. When I ordered a large Coke and the guy said 'Pepsi?' I was stunned. He hit me with it with such a blow that I stumbled back and tripped over a tiny Mexican baby. Have no fear an email has been sent, and it went something like this -

"Hello,

I wanted to let you know that this location is serving Pepsi products rather than Coke (I know I was shocked too).

I imagine this is against some sort of McDonald's law (a felony I hope). I wanted to bring this to your attention so the issues can be addressed as soon as possible. I look forward to enjoying delicious Coke products at this location.

Thank you for your time.

Keith"

I learned a couple of other things as well.

I learned that watching 'The Backyardigans' is not just watching, but a fully immersive experience, which includes running, jumping, singing & a 'yogurt popsicle'.

I also learned that if someone asks you to read a Dr. Seuss book aloud you are better off with 'Green Eggs & Ham' than you are with 'Fox in Socks.' 'Fox in Socks is so long and quite the tongue twister. I skipped like 10 pages when my nephew wasn't looking.

Oh yes - and stay classy Minneapolis... (adult content)

A feel good story ---

Justin Weisner, 17, has been a ball boy and water boy for Newton-Conover's football team for two seasons. He was happy with those jobs – but mostly, he wanted to play.

Story

Happy Thanksgiving...

In a few hours I am off to Minnesota for 'The Griswald Family Thanksgiving Bonanza'... I leave you with some B&B Style to enjoy while I am gone...

How to save a life...

This device to the right is the LASKO 24 In. Digital Display Ceramic Tower Heater, and it is possibly the best purchase I have made in months.

My apartment is an igloo during the winter months. The bedroom windows and patio door might as well not even be there. The cold whips through the place as if nothing is there to block it.

Last winter I tried a Keith made contraption that involved duct tape and some blankets. Needless to say it didn't work out to well. This year things are different.

I purchased some of the plastic stuff to seal the windows, but that wasn't enough. I needed something else. That something else was Tabitha the LASKO 24 In. Digital Display Ceramic Tower Heater.

I have only had her for 3 days and she is a life saver. I am not going to have to wear several layers, pile on the blankets & put the thermostat at 85 to survive.

Random YouTube Videos ---

This play 17 years ago gave birth to my University of Michigan fandom...



The next two videos have scarred me for life...

What burns my butt?

*start rant*

Articles like this one...

That's it - It's the commercials that are making the kids fat.

How about getting them out from in front of the TV, Wii & interwebs, give them apple slices instead of a row of Oreos once in a while & take off the Heely's and make them walk somewhere?

Nobody wants to take responsibility for anything. If I go down with a ticker attack at 30 I'll know full well my choice to have fast food about once a day for 14 years contributed to it. I will not be suing McDonald's.

*end rant*

The Start of NCAA Men's Basketball Means...

Five months of this guy...

Role Models...

I saw 'Role Models' Saturday night, and it was most enjoyable. Who doesn't love Paul Rudd? And for better or for worse Shawn William Scott still makes me laugh. It was funny, it had its moments but wasn't too gross, there was a fairly solid story and it moves along at a good pace.

I haven't been to the movie theater since seeing 'The Dark Night,' and I feel like 'Role Models' was worth the money.

Oh YouTube ---

This is one of my all-time favorite scenes (movie or television)...

Saracen - So how you handling it?
Smash - Taking it like a man Matty. You know avoiding her calls, ducking out, hiding in the bushes...

Ahhhh The 60s...

I just finished watching a show about how the media covered Kennedy's assassination. They had a lot of old footage, and also interview a lot of the local and national reporters who covered the story. It was a really interesting program, but what struck me most was some footage they showed of a couple of guys during a newscast. They were on air smoking cigs while delivering the news. It was crazy.

Overheard...

Just give me the meat and put it in me...

As a rule I never include the name of the person the overheard comments come from. This is the closest I've ever been to adding it. Wheewww it was too funny.

Gift of the year ---

I celebrated a birthday last week, have a few nice dinners & received some excellent loot. One present in particular stood out above the rest though.

My dad has a mustache and I've never seen him without it. Twenty-nine years and nothing - not even a picture. Maybe once a year I'll say something to him about it. The last time was about a month ago. I went to my parents in between the StuCo Bowl and hanging out at Casa de Williams and discovered that my dad had shaved the stache for my birthday. It was out standing. I am so used to him having it I didn't even notice it was gone. He had to say something.

Speaking of the StuCo Bowl ---

I had a lot of fun being a referee for it despite the cold. I think this video pretty much sums up my performance...

This & That...

It's the worst time of the year to ---

I am throwing this out there as it is something I have come to believe during my 29 years on this earth. This is the worst time of year to start a relationship. All of the getting to know each other, family & friend meeting, where is this going etc. weirdness is an adventure under normal circumstances. Throw that in a bowl and mix it up with the holidays and one is in for a real treat. Add in a birthday and you can forget about it.

Bringing someone to family Thanksgiving or Christmas is a benchmark in a relationship. What is the protocol for someone you've just met? If you are not careful the relationship could take a violent shove into the serious, and there will be nothing you can do to stop it. You know if you bring that person to Thanksgiving and/or Christmas and then things end Aunt Marge will ask you for the next 40 family gatherings, 'Whatever happened to that girl you brought to Thanksgiving?'

Don't even get me started on how to find the right 'I've known you for about 8 weeks' Christmas gift.

This is the randomness of my brain...

The internets strikes again ---


The Patriots Dole Out Their Swift, Kraftian Justice, Thus Ending The Short Career of One Cheerleader (deadspin.com)


And again ---


Texas Lineman Gets Kicked Off Team for Racist Facebook Message to Barack Obama (deadspin.com)


Hard to believe it is this time of year already ---

CNN had a story on its website naming Top 10 Heros of 2008. This year has gone by so fast.

Random YouTube selections...

“I don’t believe what I just saw.” - Jack Buck '88 Series

Bowler Rolls 300 Game, Is Immediately Admitted To Heaven ---


It sounds like something out of a really funny movie—or a really bad one—but some stories are just too surreal to be made up. Don Doane, a 62-year-old bowler from Ravenna, Michigan, waited his whole life for the moment every roller dreams of—a perfect game. A couple of weeks ago, he finally got his wish, bowling a 300 during his weekly league match. After completing the last frame, he turned around high-fived his teammates, then dropped dead of a massive heart attack.
(link via deadspin.com)

What is your dream job? ---

There was a time (about 25 years) where my dream job was to be a pro athlete. I was taking one of those facebook quizzes this week and one of the questions was 'What is your dream job?' The two options were pro athlete and actor. I actually had to think about it for a while and I ended up choosing actor. My how times have changed.

Though we all know my actual dream job is hosting a game show or a sports radio show with Brian.

Links ---

Great link for fans of 'The Simpsons' - Top 10 Treehouse of Horror segments.

Seven-Year-Old Football fan Meets Erin Andrews, Inspires a Nation...

Dog stops sexual assualt...

And I'll leave you with this ---

Found on craigslist

2. SWF who isn't asking too much

I am a single, free-spirted, web-savvy thirtysomething female. Living in the gorgeous Caroll Gardens for the past year, I love life and am only looking for a man who is not an idiotic pig-headed beer-swilling moron (which seems to be hard to find in this city). This is my final plea to the Craigslist community. I own my own internet business which means I don't get to leave the house much, but I do know the internet and its dating potential. So far it has let me down every single time.

I've done MySpace, Facebook, Match.Com, eHarmony, and even Jdate (I'm not Jewish and don't care about Israel). Don't get me started on Jdate. But with so many people out there, at least ONE guy can match this. I know he's out there. My standards are exacting, but they're not too much to ask. Life is too short to compromise yourself!

Here is what I am looking for. It's not much. If you're this guy or know this guy, have him contact me right away.

-non smoker

-must love cats and be open to the idea of future adoptions

-must not be more than one to five stops away from Carroll Gardens F train in either direction

-must not be opposed to wicker furniture

-must be 420 friendly

-must clean up hair from the tub after a trim, a ring of hair around the edge is GROSS

-past bar tending/table-serving experience a plus but not necessary

-some knowledge of vintage wine

-must be fluent in 2 languages (English DOES NOT count); I still like to practice my French from study abroad

-toilet paper must go over, NEVER under, when placed in dispenser

-PUT the lid DOWN. Animals have better manners than most men

-no stockbrokers, unemployed musicians, actors, or baristas

-no ravers, goths, punks, or rude boys

-musical taste must include, but not be limited to, Kingston Trip, Buffy Sainte-Marie, and Judy Collins

-name must not begin with an R, a J, or a B (Js are negotiable; Rs are not. Bs should consider that if they treat a cat nicely, it will respond accordingly; but if you scare it by approaching too fast, of course it will attack)

-must like scented candles (not vanilla); no incense

-must be willing to pay for dinner at least once a week at a Zagat-rated restaurant after proper research and scouting of restaurant

-must own more than 3 items from ?The North Face? jacket line but no more than 5

-owning a car is a plus, but it can't be a hatchback (some standards)

-I ski one weekend a year, so you ski. No shredders.

-must love Gary Larson, and hate Dilbert

-passionate about animal rights, but willing to take in the circus when it comes to town

-must read at least 3 books a month, no comics unless Gary Larson

-must have read complete works of Jane Austen

-must know how to turn a Word document into a PDF

-must be on T-Mobile for Fave 5 access

-must love pinball and not play ping pong

-3 out of your 5 favorite movies should be John Hughes films

-must agree to watch "The Hills" on MTV on Sundays but hate that bitch Heidi, she is everything wrong with womankind

-must know CPR and have current certification, ++ for SCUBA certification

-must be home from 2-6pm on Saturdays to receive packages; bonus points if you're an Ebay power seller too!

-NO FELONS!!!

-must have all limbs, no quads (not biased, just poor past experience)

-Ivy League education desirable, but Amherst, UPenn, Colgate, Vassar, Georgetown etc. acceptable

-must have Scrabulous installed on Facebook during work hours

-must prefer dark chocolate over milk; no omnivores

-must like North-Eastern microbrews, NO COLORADO, NO EXCEPTIONS

-no corduroy pants, jackets, shirts, socks, caps, etc. And while we're on the subject of hats, no hats at all. Having a hat as part of your job costume is not an excuse.

I know the guy for me is out there. I've come so close to finding him in perfect form so many times. If you are this know or know this guy, PLEASE contact me. I am willing to make a few sacrifices, but not many. If you see yourself in even a FEW of my specifications, you are invited to apply. Think of it more like a guidebook to my heart.

Please reply with a little bit about yourself, include pics.

~M

Not asking too much --- Yikes!