Saturday, November 1, 2008

Bowler Rolls 300 Game, Is Immediately Admitted To Heaven ---


It sounds like something out of a really funny movie—or a really bad one—but some stories are just too surreal to be made up. Don Doane, a 62-year-old bowler from Ravenna, Michigan, waited his whole life for the moment every roller dreams of—a perfect game. A couple of weeks ago, he finally got his wish, bowling a 300 during his weekly league match. After completing the last frame, he turned around high-fived his teammates, then dropped dead of a massive heart attack.
(link via deadspin.com)

What is your dream job? ---

There was a time (about 25 years) where my dream job was to be a pro athlete. I was taking one of those facebook quizzes this week and one of the questions was 'What is your dream job?' The two options were pro athlete and actor. I actually had to think about it for a while and I ended up choosing actor. My how times have changed.

Though we all know my actual dream job is hosting a game show or a sports radio show with Brian.

Links ---

Great link for fans of 'The Simpsons' - Top 10 Treehouse of Horror segments.

Seven-Year-Old Football fan Meets Erin Andrews, Inspires a Nation...

Dog stops sexual assualt...

And I'll leave you with this ---

Found on craigslist

2. SWF who isn't asking too much

I am a single, free-spirted, web-savvy thirtysomething female. Living in the gorgeous Caroll Gardens for the past year, I love life and am only looking for a man who is not an idiotic pig-headed beer-swilling moron (which seems to be hard to find in this city). This is my final plea to the Craigslist community. I own my own internet business which means I don't get to leave the house much, but I do know the internet and its dating potential. So far it has let me down every single time.

I've done MySpace, Facebook, Match.Com, eHarmony, and even Jdate (I'm not Jewish and don't care about Israel). Don't get me started on Jdate. But with so many people out there, at least ONE guy can match this. I know he's out there. My standards are exacting, but they're not too much to ask. Life is too short to compromise yourself!
Here is what I am looking for. It's not much. If you're this guy or know this guy, have him contact me right away.

-non smoker

-must love cats and be open to the idea of future adoptions

-must not be more than one to five stops away from Carroll Gardens F train in either direction

-must not be opposed to wicker furniture

-must be 420 friendly

-must clean up hair from the tub after a trim, a ring of hair around the edge is GROSS

-past bar tending/table-serving experience a plus but not necessary

-some knowledge of vintage wine

-must be fluent in 2 languages (English DOES NOT count); I still like to practice my French from study abroad

-toilet paper must go over, NEVER under, when placed in dispenser

-PUT the lid DOWN. Animals have better manners than most men

-no stockbrokers, unemployed musicians, actors, or baristas

-no ravers, goths, punks, or rude boys

-musical taste must include, but not be limited to, Kingston Trip, Buffy Sainte-Marie, and Judy Collins

-name must not begin with an R, a J, or a B (Js are negotiable; Rs are not. Bs should consider that if they treat a cat nicely, it will respond accordingly; but if you scare it by approaching too fast, of course it will attack)

-must like scented candles (not vanilla); no incense

-must be willing to pay for dinner at least once a week at a Zagat-rated restaurant after proper research and scouting of restaurant

-must own more than 3 items from ?The North Face? jacket line but no more than 5

-owning a car is a plus, but it can't be a hatchback (some standards)

-I ski one weekend a year, so you ski. No shredders.

-must love Gary Larson, and hate Dilbert

-passionate about animal rights, but willing to take in the circus when it comes to town

-must read at least 3 books a month, no comics unless Gary Larson

-must have read complete works of Jane Austen

-must know how to turn a Word document into a PDF

-must be on T-Mobile for Fave 5 access

-must love pinball and not play ping pong

-3 out of your 5 favorite movies should be John Hughes films

-must agree to watch "The Hills" on MTV on Sundays but hate that bitch Heidi, she is everything wrong with womankind

-must know CPR and have current certification, ++ for SCUBA certification

-must be home from 2-6pm on Saturdays to receive packages; bonus points if you're an Ebay power seller too!

-NO FELONS!!!

-must have all limbs, no quads (not biased, just poor past experience)

-Ivy League education desirable, but Amherst, UPenn, Colgate, Vassar, Georgetown etc. acceptable

-must have Scrabulous installed on Facebook during work hours

-must prefer dark chocolate over milk; no omnivores

-must like North-Eastern microbrews, NO COLORADO, NO EXCEPTIONS

-no corduroy pants, jackets, shirts, socks, caps, etc. And while we're on the subject of hats, no hats at all. Having a hat as part of your job costume is not an excuse.


I know the guy for me is out there. I've come so close to finding him in perfect form so many times. If you are this know or know this guy, PLEASE contact me. I am willing to make a few sacrifices, but not many. If you see yourself in even a FEW of my specifications, you are invited to apply. Think of it more like a guidebook to my heart.

Please reply with a little bit about yourself, include pics.

~M

Not asking too much --- Yikes!

2 comments:

Stephanie Hunter said...

Is that list for real????

Shelley Christensen said...

Okay...

1). I immediately thought of you when I saw that kid get pummeled. Okay, actually as soon as I saw him getting interviewed by Erin Andrews. I meant to text you to make sure you were watching.

2). That is why German Shepherds are the greatest flippin' breed of dog ever!

3). You totally wrote that Craigs List ad, didn't you? If not, please tell me that you've answered it.

4). I'm catching up on Ace of Cakes right now. Holla!

5). I really need to go to bed.