Monday, November 8, 2010

Millennials Fight Back...

I found this article in the Red Eye today. It is snarky and sarcastic, which I enjoy, but I think the points the author makes are interesting.

Sandals in Office Not the Problem - Stephen Markley

I recently read a Bloomberg Businessweek story by Teddy Wayne, plugged on the cover as "Millennials: the New Office Morons."

Armed with prosciutto-thin anecdotal evidence, Wayne makes the point that my generation doesn't know proper etiquette in work environments. He backs this incisive point with pictures of Warren Buffet in a suit and Mark Zuckerberg in sandals.

I single out the Businessweek article only because it's the latest in the rising trend to dump on Millennials as spoiled, lazy, entitled jerks, who listen to their iPods at work.

But while we're making generalizations, boy do these other generations sure think a hell of a lot of themselves!

And why not? After all, they've done such a great job.

They spent 30 years creating a political and economic system that let wages stagnate and income inequality spike. Then they started working more hours, which made them more miserable, so they quieted their personal dissatisfaction with a bunch of useless crap like gargantuan homes and gas-guzzling SUVs. And because they failed to innovate anything other than useless financial instruments that made only 1% of them richer, they started running up mountains of debt.

But you're right: Millennials do spend too much time at work on Facebook!

Speaking of debt, they left a pile of it for us so they could cut their own taxes and fund their retirements. They charged everything they could on credit cards and bought the biggest homes they couldn't afford in useless, unsustainable suburban wastelands that we'll one day be stripping for the copper wire.

But I know: our generation totally doesn't know how to dress for the office! Did you see Bill wore a T-shirt the other day? What's up with that!

In fact, these previous generations did such a phenomenal job in the business world they managed to create the most unequal society since the 1930s, nearly collapsed the entire world economy, sent a great chunk of my generation to two really awesome, really helpful wars, and did it all while completely ignoring the overheating climate, soon to be the most catastrophic environmental crisis in human history!

Now that's what I call business savvy! To think of all that we could learn from you.

See, I have anecdotal evidence, too. While you guys take your fourth cigarette break of the day, I'm thinking of the people I know, the ones I've come of age with--smart, motivated and always dreaming big even as they understand that the rigid structures of the workplace, the pre-conceived notions and prejudices have as much to do with success or happiness as drinking a gallon of egg nog has to do with running a marathon.

So I kindly ask previous generations to shut the hell up while we prepare ourselves for the long, arduous battle of figuring out how to pick up the dirt that you dropped.

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